yup

no amount of wishing brings dan closer, or anything closer, really. i want to be closer to finding my job or school, at least where i'm going to end up. anything. i'm not angry or upset. just impatient i suppose, a little too curious to sit around waiting for stuff to happen. i want huge excitement, fireworks in my life. i've always wanted things like that, and for most of my life it's happened, i think i got too used to it during college. now i'm slightly bored.

i wish i lived right next to dan. it's not even that i have to be married right now, it just want to be close enough to him that we can hang out and laugh together, not over some satellite signal thrust through the thin winter air. he makes my life warm, hot at times, but always warm and comfortable. he knows how to make me feel confident and humble all at the same time. how to love and discern. how to pray and to trust. hope.

maybe i could just kidnap him!

i'm sitting here not knowing what to do with my time or evening b/c all i really want to do is hang out with dan.