April 2005

Thursday, April 21, 2005

oh dear
holy crap......what is happening. yesterday we talk and he promises to be normal and take me where i'm at. and then tonight he's saying i'm his girlfriend. do i really want this? am i faking to keep him happy? should i stop being nice?shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by bekah @ 9:40 PM 0 comments

Sunday, April 17, 2005

a boy
he likes me. i like him. do we date? we have a whole summer in between now and next school year. he obviously seems to anticipate a deeper continuation of what we have now, then. but do i? he want's to go deeper, i want to figure out the top part first, the insides might cloud my vision.i haven't prayed. God knows and i don't. why am i an idiot. why can't i be honest with the world?shit. i'm so human and so fallen. God's grace is sufficient, but right now i can't seem to make myself care.
posted by bekah @ 11:06 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

tee hee
a skinny boy named ben likes me. he's taking me rollar skating sometime.weeeee!!!!
posted by bekah @ 8:12 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

when spring comes
it makes everyone happy. it makes me think of europe, england, oxford, jerico, walton well road, and 21. those are the best places i know. i think a certain boy is extreamly attractive....it's that long-ish hair that will do it every time. and the blue eyes and the skinnyness.i want to be in the heads and books of russian authors. they saw life and philosphied about life in a real manner, with real people, doing and thinking real things. i want to be all of alive.Hebrews is my favorite book in all the Bible.
posted by bekah @ 4:02 PM 0 comments

Friday, April 01, 2005

it never stops.
beers make me miss him. (like right now.)i'd say things....but i'm tired and this really should stop. it's been a year. i should be done. it continues plauging thoughts and turning reason into drunkness and so i stumble forward, falling again into that ditch of affection i know so well. i wait again for its passing, and again, and again. have me, it stops, never speaking feeds the beast. i'm screwed. "we're" screwed. a circle never ceasing that equals pi.
posted by bekah @ 10:14 PM 0 comments